The Life Has Gone

This is more of a personal post than it is a pastoral post so please bear with me.

Over the past week, I took the opportunity to travel to Iowa to visit my mother whom was recently moved into a memory care facility.

A little background...My father passed away in 2018 leaving my mother by herself. She continued to live on her own, in the house that my parents had called home since 2000. That year (2000), my parents sold the house that I had grown up in and realized their dream of moving out of town (Marshalltown) into the country (Beaman) onto their own "farm."

I recall the first time that I took my family to the Campbell Haus (as that's how my father referred to it). It was Christmas of 2000. We had, ourselves, just moved to Charlotte and begun our ministry at South Charlotte Baptist Church. Stephenie and I, along with Jeremiah and Mollie, traveled to Iowa to spend Christmas with my family. At that time, Jeremiah was only two years old and Mollie wasn't even a year old!

Now, I need to jump ahead to this past week...

During this trip, since having moved our mother into the memory care facility, we have begun the arduous process of going through all the "things" that my parents have gathered during their lives.

My oldest sister and I came across some old VHS tapes, old home films that we had not seen before (or at least had forgotten about their existence)! One of those old VHS tapes was of our family, Christmas gathering in 2000!

On Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, 2000, my parent's house was filled with family - grandparents, aunts/uncles, siblings, nieces/nephews, friends! My parents house was filled with life! Watching that video brought back so many memories - precious memories - memories that brought a smile to my face, and, at times a tear to my eye.

We continued to have those Christmas celebrations in Iowa every three years. (That's a story in and of itself.) Our last family, Christmas gathering in Iowa happened in 2018, the Christmas after my father had passed away. After that, instead of going to Iowa to visit my mother, we would bring her to Charlotte so that she could spend time with us.

Jumping ahead, "in time," just a little bit once again...

In 2022 (I believe) my mother was diagnosed with dementia. It wasn't long after that that my oldest sister took the responsibility to move in with my mother to be able to care for and assist her. Again, this decision by my sister is a story in and of itself as well but it caused her to have to uproot herself from her home and family in Kansas to come to Iowa and care for my mother. She has done a wonderful job over these past several years and I love her for the sacrifice that she has made. I have experienced some "guilt" at not being able to help with my mother more but, as I have preached recently, "The Lord knoweth the way of the righteous..." (Psalm 1:6) I continued, though, to either come and visit my mother or bring her to Charlotte to spend time with us.

Jumping ahead, one last time, to this past week...

It's been an "interesting" trip to say the least, in a lot of ways! My sister and I have been staying at the Campbell Haus and I have been going into town every day to visit and sit with my mother. Normally, I have been arriving in the early afternoon and sitting with her in her room, watching Matlock or Murder, She Wrote (two of her favorite shows) until it was time to take her to the dining room for dinner. After getting her settled at the table, I would give her a kiss, tell her I love her, and then walk out of the facility with tears in my eyes to head back out to the Campbell Haus.

As I would walk in to the house, my sister would generally call out, "Hey kid!" We would have a bite to eat and then settle in for the evening. At one point, this past week, I made the comment to my sister, "The life has gone out of the house." My sister agreed.

I did not experience that when my father passed away in 2018 because as long as my mom was living in the Campbell Haus, there was life in the house. Now that she has left the house (and will not be coming back), the house no longer has any "life." I don't know how else to explain it and I don't believe that I am being overly dramatic. It seems as though the pages of this chapter of my life are closing. It's been a good chapter - a "lively" chapter but, as with everything, it too must come to an end. That's not to say that the next chapter isn't going to be "lively" as well; I have two grandchildren whom my wife and I love dearly. It's just that the next chapter of the book is going to be different.

I understand that what I am experiencing is grief (and everyone experiences grief in different ways and at different times). Even though my mother is still living I know that the disease she has is slowly - and in a very cruel way - draining the life out of her. I have quite literally seen that taking place each time I have gone to visit with her this past week.

I do have the assurance of knowing that my mother has accepted Jesus Christ as her Savior and that, because of that, she will one day experience eternal life in Heaven and will be reunited with my father. While that does bring comfort, it doesn't fully take away from the grief that I and each one of my siblings have experienced and will experience in the days, months, and possibly, years ahead.

This past week, during my quiet time with the Lord, I read Psalm 30:5

"...weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning."

Life has gone from the Campbell Haus but there is eternal life awaiting us in our Heavenly Home!

If you don't know for sure that Heaven will be your eternal home, I would encourage you to watch the brief video at www.SalvationFocus.com!